Spam-A-Rific

Okay, so I am going to go where only few brave cooks have gone before, to Spamland. Now stop your complaining and gagging because it is not that bad, you eat hotdogs right, well same thing. Spam is the perfect food to have in your pantry in case of an apocalypse; the stuff literally lasts for years. And honestly if you read the list of ingredients the only one that sounds unnatural is the Sodium Nitrate (actually a salt), a preservative. So really how bad could the stuff be? And don’t even try telling me that you don’t eat preservatives; remember the hotdogs?

Spam was introduced in July of 1937 and became very popular during World War Two, insanely popular in Hawaii during their wartime fresh meat shortage. Well the war might have ended but the Hawaiian’s love affair with Spam has flourished. They consume the most of this smeat in the United States, possibly the world, so much so that their McDonalds and Burger Kings offer it on their menus. Hawaiians love it so much they refer to it as “Hawaiian Steak”.

So, on that note let’s make some Spam Musubi or as I like to call it Redneck Sushi, which is possibly the Hawaiian state food. This thing is so popular there that they sell it in every ABC Store (their 7-11) in the state and the president has even been caught eating it. When I vacationed there with my friend KB the Musubi intrigued us, but we were too afraid to try a convenience store fast food. Luckily I found a recipe for it and decided to give a homemade version a try, see I told you that I would try sushi. Okay, so start with one cup of sushi rice combined with one and a third cups of water, bring it to a boil, and then simmer for fourteen minutes. Once the rice is cooked, remove the pot from the heat, drape a towel over it, recover and let it sit for twenty minutes. While you are waiting you can get the Spam out of the can and scrape the gelatinous ooze off of it. Okay back to the rice, pour it into a baking dish and stir in about a fourth of a cup of rice wine vinegar then cover it with plastic wrap. Cut your Spam into one by two inch squares that are about a quarter inch thick and fry them up in a pan. Form the rice, which should be sticky into patties that are about the same size as the Spam, keep a bowl of water handy to rewet your hands and stop the rice from sticking to them. Top the rice patties with the fried Spam and wrap a thin strip of nori seaweed around it. (Seal the end of the nori with a little water). Finish it all off with s drizzle of Teriyaki sauce. I am not a huge fan of the nori that you buy in the supermarket, way too strong for me, but I read that soy paper can also be used. Unfortunately my ghetto grocery store does not carry it so I have to buy it when I go to Boston, another plus in the city’s column.

You could also make the Spam into a traditional sushi roll with cucumber and avocado along with the smeat in the center. A few months ago I bought a sushi roller and that thing works like a dream. I was fully expecting my first experience rolling would be a nightmare, but it was very easy. I highly suggest purchasing one of these contraptions if you plan on making your own rolls, you will love it.

Since Spam is so popular in Hawaii I am going to do a few more Polynesian inspired recipes, like Hawaiian Spam Calzones. In order to do this recipe you either need to make or buy a ball of pizza dough. Divide the dough into four smaller balls then roll those out on a floured surface into circles about a quarter inch thick. Cover half of each circle with diced Spam, crushed pineapple and a mild shredded cheese, like Monterey Jack or Provolone. Then fold the other half of the dough over to form a half circle, crimp the edges, cut a few vents in the top and brush it with an egg wash. Bake them for ten minutes at 450 degrees or until they are golden brown. Serve the Calzones with either duck or sweet and sour sauce for dipping. I liked the combination of the sweet pineapple mixed with the slightly spiced flavor of the Spam. You could also do this a traditional Hawaiian pizza if you want, just spread the duck sauce onto the uncooked crust before you add the toppings.

Here is a recipe that you can bring to a casual potluck dinner, just double or triple it if needed, Hawaiian Spam Casserole. Chop up one can of Spam into small cubes and brown them in a frying pan. Combine the smeat with one twenty ounce can of undrained pineapple, one cup of sugar, six tablespoons of self-rising flour and one and a half cups of shredded cheddar cheese in a baking dish. Top this all with either breadcrumbs or crushed Ritz crackers drizzled with around a half a stick of melted butter. Bake this at 350 degrees for twenty minutes or so.

This last recipe is for Chinese Spam Lettuce Wraps. Start by dicing your Spam as small as you are capable of doing, fry it in a tiny bit of canola oil with one small diced red pepper, a quarter cup of diced water chestnuts, two tablespoons of diced scallions and a pinch of red pepper flakes. In a separate bowl combine two tablespoons of stir-fry sauce with two tablespoons of lime juice and a teaspoon of sugar. Pour the sauce over the Spam mixture and cook until the liquid evaporates. Serve this spooned into whole Romaine leaves with bean sprouts and peanuts for garnish. Oh yeah, this dish can be made with ground chicken also.

Spam is actually a very versatile smeat; it is great fried up with eggs, on white bread with mustard or even as one of my customers suggested, fried in real maple syrup instead of oil. He said this creates a sweet crunchy crust on the Spam; unfortunately it also creates a sweet crunchy mess in the pan to scrub.

Spam has gotten a bad wrap over the years; some of its acronyms are “Something Posing As Meat” and “Spare Parts Animal Meat”. But really it’s not all that bad. I mean how can thousands of Hawaiians be wrong? Plus if you eat enough foods with preservatives you (or at least your loved ones) will benefit, because you will hardly have to be embalmed. That sounds like a money saver to me; eat up mom and dad!

Redneck Sushi (Spam Musubi)

1 cup Sushi Rice
1 1/3 cups Water
¼ cup Rice Wine Vinegar
1 can Spam
1 pkg Nori seaweed or soy wrappers
Teriyaki Sauce

Combine the rice and water, bring to a boil and then simmer for 14 minutes. Once this is done remove the pan from heat and let sit covered for 20 minutes. Pour rice into a baking dish and stir in the vinegar and cover with plastic wrap. Cut Spam into 1 by 2 inch strips and fry until golden brown. Form the sticky rice into patties about the same size as the meat, top with fried Spam and wrap a thin strip of your chosen wrapper around the middle. Drizzle with teriyaki sauce.


Hawaiian Spam Calzones

1 Ball store bought pizza dough
1 can Spam
1 8 oz can Crushed pineapple, drained
1 pkg Shredded Monterey Jack cheese
Duck or Sweet and Sour sauce

Divide the dough into 4 smaller balls and roll out until quarter inch thick circles. Pile Spam, pineapple and cheese over one half of the circle; fold the other half over and seal. Cut vents into the top of each calzone and brush with an egg wash. Bake at 450° for 10 minutes. Serve with either duck or sweet and sour sauce for dipping.


Hawaiian Spam Casserole

1 can Spam
1 20 oz can Crushed pineapple, undrained
1 cup Sugar
6 Tblsp Self rising flour
1 ½ cups Shredded Cheddar cheese
1 ½ cups Breadcrumbs or crushed Ritz crackers
½ Stick Butter, melted

Chop the Spam into cubes and fry until golden brown. Combine the first five ingredients in a buttered baking dish. Combine the breadcrumbs and butter and spread over the Spam mixture. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes.


Spam Lettuce Wraps

1 Can Spam, diced super fine
1 small Red Pepper, diced finely
¼ cup Water chestnuts, diced finely
1 Scallion, diced finely
pinch Red pepper flakes
2 Tblsp Stir fry sauce
2 Tblsp Lime juice
1 tsp sugar
Romaine leaves
Bean sprouts
Peanuts

Sauté the first five ingredients until soft. Combine the sauce, juice and sugar and pour over the meat mixture. Serve in the romaine leaves topped with bean sprouts and peanuts.