Guy "Food"

This is for all you guys who have finally moved out of your mama’s house and ventured into the real and grown up world. This is an exciting time for you; I mean you finally have a place in which to entertain a lady without your mom interrupting! Now guys remember, we ladies require a little wooing and one sure way to impress us is to cook for us. Actually almost any guy can benefit from these recipes; well I guess not Tyler Florence. (Oh I would love it if he cooked for me).

Now during my research into the diets of single guys I discovered that a good majority of you are enamored with frozen food. Now don’t get me wrong I also use frozen foods, of course they are in the form of vegetables, not wings; but it would be a cold day in Miami before I eat a frozen dinner or pizza. I did however have the opportunity to choke down the worst tacos in the history of tacos; and thanks to that dude I will never be able to eat them again. (Hey what can I say; I was bored when I said yes. God I’ll never make that mistake again, standards are there for a reason!). But have faith; there is no reason you have to suffer and be as terrible a cook as Mr. Taco; all you have to do is put a little effort and care into your food and voilá your lady is impressed.

So what I want to do for you is take some of your staple meals and make them date-friendly. My friend SS recently loaned me his copy of A Man, A Can, and A Plan, a cookbook for guys and a very informative research tool for me. Cooking is not hard and doesn’t need to be time consuming; if women can do it, men can do it at least half as well. Well maybe I’m being optimistic, but I like to give everyone at least one chance to prove me wrong.

Let’s start with a guy favorite, pizza. First you need to get your hands on one of those pre-made pizza crusts like Boboli. This can be topped any way you want, but I am going to do a Hawaiian version. Top the pizza crust with a little store bought pizza sauce, some diced deli ham, chopped up precooked bacon, half a can of crushed pineapple and a nice thick layer of shredded Mozzarella cheese. Bake this at 350 degrees for ten to fifteen minutes or until the cheese is melted and bubbly then top it with some diced green onion. Serve this to your lady friend with a side salad; and make sure she knows that the pizza is homemade and not delivery. Actually wait until she gets to your place before you start making it so that she can observe your mad cooking skills.

Now, in the grocery store they sell these great already cooked rotisserie chickens that you can use for two meals; you can eat half the chicken one night and then turn the rest into a date-worthy Chicken Ala King. Start by tearing up the meat that was left on the chicken into small bite-size pieces without the skin. (I am assuming that you chowed on all the skin the night before when no one was watching you shovel it in like a wild animal.) Begin this dish by baking some of those pop-can refrigerator biscuits according to the package’s directions. Next pour one regular sized can of condensed cream of whatever you grab off the shelf into a pot with a half-cup of milk and a couple shakes of garlic powder. Let this come to a boil and cook for about ten minutes before you stir in an eight-ounce tub of chive cream cheese, cook this until melted. Finally add the torn chicken, some frozen vegetables and about a teaspoon of dried thyme. Let this heat through and serve it over the biscuits. You can score extra brownie points if you serve an extra side of vegetables, and sorry dudes corn is not a viable option.

Finally here is a jazzed up version of another guy favorite, steak. This recipe may sound really weird, but trust me it is fantabulous, Coffee & Chipolte Steak. Start by combining two tablespoons each of regular coffee grounds, light brown sugar and molasses, one tablespoon of tomato sauce mixed with one teaspoon of adobo seasoning, a few dashes of Chipolte hot sauce, one teaspoon each of cumin, garlic salt, and paprika. You can find adobo seasoning in the Spanish section of the grocery store. Slather this mixture onto both sides of the thin cut steaks and then panfry them to your desired doneness. I do not suggest using the grill; it’s way too saucy. Now stop your whining I know that the grill is like an appendage for you but it just won’t work for this dish. I would suggest serving this with something simple like rice and a salad. Just so you know this will make a mess in your pan so you might have to soak it in cold water for a few days. (Not that you don’t already do this).

Ok so there you have it; I have given you three meals that you can be proud to serve any dinner guest, whether it is your girlfriend or momma. And most women find it a turn on when their man cooks for them, take that little tidbit and run with it guys because I won’t give you too many incites into our psyche. Just stay away from the nasty taco, because no one finds that sexy.

Okay so now I’m going to give you guys a few tips that you can use in your everyday cooking.

Sometimes you run across a recipe that you really want to try, but it serves four or more people and what’s a guy to do. Well you could loosen that belt, pull the TV tray closer and just power through it or you could just cut the recipe in half.

If you really insist on making the whole recipe then by all means do it because you can always freeze some of the dish. I have a whole cabinet full of Glad Ware that I can fill and put in the freezer. I do this a lot, see not only can you make the recipe as it was written, but also you also have dinner all ready to be mircowaved after a long day. Some things that freeze well are meatloaf, shepherd’s pie and spaghetti sauce.

Also at the grocery store there are individually wrapped fresh chicken breast. I usually have these in the freezer because they defrost quickly for a super fast meal. Honestly the individually wrapped breasts are a little more expensive but in my opinion worth it, so stop being so cheep! But if penny pinching is your thing then buy the regular pack of chicken and bag them up yourself. Just remember cheapmiser, you have to buy the freezer bags.

Okay, I think that I have given you enough tips; I can’t reveal all my secrets! So go forth, cook, be merry and please, please stay out of the freezer section of the grocery store.


“Homemade” Hawaiian Pizza

1 Boboli Pizza Crust
½ Cup Pizza Sauce
½ Cup Deli Ham, diced
½ Cup Bacon, cooked and diced
½ Can Crushed Pineapple, drained
1 8oz Pkg. Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
4 Stalks Scallions, diced

Spread the pizza sauce onto the precooked pizza crust in an even layer. Top with the ham, bacon, pineapple and cheese, in that order. Bake at 350° for 10-15 minutes. Top cooked pizza with the scallions.


Chicken A’la King

1 Can Refrigerator Biscuits
1 Can Condensed Cream of Whatever Soup
½ Cup Milk
½ Tsp. Garlic Powder
1 8oz. Tub Chive Cream Cheese
1 ½ Cups Cooked Chicken, Diced
1 Cup Frozen Mixed Vegetables
1 Tsp. Dried Thyme

Bake the biscuits according to the package directions. Mix the soup garlic powder and milk in a pot and bring to a boil over medium heat. Once boiling add the cream cheese and stir until it has melted completely. Stir in the chicken, vegetables and thyme. Serve over the biscuits.



Coffee & Chipolte Steak

2 Small Rib eye Steaks, thin cut
2 Tblsp. Coffee grounds
2 Tblsp. Light Brown Sugar
2 Tblsp. Molasses
1 Tblsp. Tomato Sauce
1 Tsp. Adobo Seasoning
1 Tsp. Chipolte Hot Sauce
1 Tsp. Cumin
1 Tsp. Garlic Salt
1 Tsp. Paprika

Combine all of the ingredients except for the steaks in a bowl. Slather the sauce onto both sides of the steaks and panfry over high heat until the desired doneness.