Christmas Party Season

So last night was out annual company Christmas party and we always have it at the bosses house; mostly due to the fact that there are only thirteen employees but also because we like an intimate homey setting. And even though every year we say that we are going to tone down the food that is served, there is always too much left over. This year I decided to try out something new, Candied Bacon. Seriously who doesn't love bacon, except the two vegetarians we have on staff, it is salty, smokey goodness and when you add sugar and spce it gets even better.

For best results try and get your hands on some slab bacon cut a little thicker than what you normally get in the packages of bacon. So I took my pound of bacon, layed it out in a single layer on a baking rack set on top of a sheet pan. For easier cleanup cover that bottom pan with tin foil to catch all the grease that will collect in the pan. Mix together a third of a cup of brown sugar, two shakes of cayanne pepper, two shakes of chili powder, one shake of cumin, two or three shakes of cinnamon and a little black pepper. Rub this onto one side of the bacon and then place the tray under the broiler and cook until it looks good to you. I personally like my bacon a little crispy, but it is all personal preferance. Serve this hot and watch it dissappear.

Our Chiristmas party always has a few traditional foods. like shrimp cocktail and my mothers Christmas meatballs. I don't have her recipee but I can tell you that the little meatballs are a Jewish style Christmas meatball due to the Manaschevitz wine in the recipee. Last night one of the employees brought her new favorite dip which was also a huge hit, Amy's Sausage Dip.

Amy will tell you herself that she is not a cook, but she has a homerun in this dip. Saute one of those logs of sausage until well crumbled and add one drained can of Rotelle tomatoes. Cook this down so that everything is broken up and hot before mixing it up with two packages of room temperature cream cheese. Spread it all into a small baking dish and cook at 350 degrees until hot and bubbly.

Our annual Christmas party is always a lot of fun, we have a blast with our Yankee gift swap. For those of you who don't know what that is, everyone brings a gift valued between ten and fifteen dollars, wrapped but not labled. All the gifts are placed in a pile in the center of the room and names are drawn. When your name is picked you grab a gift from the pile, if someone else has something you want then you can swap with them. We go through everyone's names twice and it never fails that there is one gift that everyone really wants. This year the Playboy cologne gift set was popular with the teenage boys; I seriously doubt that smelling like Heff is going to help get them the ladies, but more power to them. On a persoal note for the first time in nine years I ended up with what I wanted out of all the gifts, funny thing is that it was the gift I brought!



Candied Bacon
1 lb. bacon, slightly thick cut
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 shake cumin
2 shakes cayanne pepper
2 shakes chili powder
2 shakes cinnamon
black pepper

Lay out the bacon on a rack over a baking tray. Combine the remaining ingredients and rub onto one side of bacon. Broil until done to your liking.



Amy's Sausage Dip
1 pkg. bulk sausage
1 can Rotelle tomatoes, drained
2 pkgs. cream cheese

Saute the sausage until well crumbled, add the tomatoes and cook until everything is well combined and broken down. Combine the sausage mixture to the room temperature cream cheese, pour into a baking dish and bake at 350 degrees until hot and bubbly.

Let's Fondue

Every few weeks my friends and I set aside one evening for girl’s night; some times we go out but lately we have been cooking together. After all I do need guinea pigs for all these recipes. To date one of my favorite evenings was fondue night. As we sat around a pot of cheese we talked about everything; work, houses, being single-white-femaled, insane co-workers and roommates, fashion and of course men. (I never have a shortage of stories to amuse them with, maybe I should write a book). Before we knew it we had consumed half a loaf of bread, a garden full of vegetables and more cheese than I care to admit to. But in the process we laughed uncontrollably about all the wacky things that had happened to each of us since we had last been together. See the beautiful thing about fondue is that everything is bite-sized making it the perfect conversation food. You think that you are just snacking but before you know it you’re stuffed and vowing to hit the gym the next day.

Fondue was developed in Switzerland as a food preservation method. See, back in the dark ages (before refrigerators or the hill towns last December) food that was made abundantly, i.e. bread and cheese, would quickly get dry and hard, essentially inedible. That was until some enlightened person melted down that cheese with wine and soaked the stale bread in it. Today we dip everything in fondue: meat, pasta, vegetables, fruit and even cheesecake.

Making fondue is not rocket science; but you kind of need the right tools, by this I mean a fondue pot. These can be as simple as a tea light heated pot to an electric unit with temperature settings. I typically use an electric one because the candle ones don’t give off consistent heat and well frankly it’s what I own. Equally as important are the fondue forks, which should come with your pot. If they are not long enough with heatproof handles you will burn your little fingers. If you do not have these you can substitute wooden skewers.

Okay, so let’s start with the appetizer course, cheese fondue. If you have an electric pot turn it to its lowest setting or create your mixture over low heat on the stove. First melt two tablespoons of butter and stir in three fourths a cup of milk, a dash of garlic salt, one-tablespoon flour and a dash of Tabasco sauce. When this thickens start melting in about three and a half cups of shredded sharp cheddar cheese. Once this is all melted pour in about half a cup of white wine; if your cheese mixture is too thick just add more wine. Make sure to keep the heat at a low setting so you do not burn the fondue. All you need now are things to dip such as bread cubes, raw vegetables and tortilla chips.

Now on to the main course which is a hot oil fondue (Bourguignonne) that you dip meat, potato and stuffed pasta in. All you have to do is heat up peanut oil to between 325 and 350 degrees; once it’s hot just submerge small marinated or seasoned meat in it until cooked to your liking. I know that this sounds kind of bland so to turn up the volume you need to put sauces on the meats. For beef mix three-fourths cup of sour cream with one tablespoon each of minced onion and horseradish. For chicken try mixing half a cup each of mayonnaise and Dijon mustard or one and a half cups mayonnaise, one and a half tablespoons lemon juice, one tablespoon minced garlic and half a teaspoon of Tabasco sauce. Finally for chicken, pork of seafood try a spicy oriental sauce made from two tablespoons soy sauce, one and a half tablespoons lemon juice, 1 chopped green chili, one minced garlic clove, and 2 teaspoons of sesame oil. Any one of these sauces will add a bit of zing to your meat fondue course.

Finally, la piece de la resistance chocolate fondue. Start by simmering two tablespoons of half and half with one tablespoon each of butter and dark rum. Then remove the pot from the heat and whisk in eight ounces of either chopped semisweet or bittersweet chocolate and one more tablespoon of rum. If the mixture is too thick just add a dash or two of half and half to loosen it up. Now you can go crazy with the dippers; try fresh fruit, pound cake, brownies, marshmallows, cheesecake, pretzels and fortune cookies.

One last thing I want to mention is fondue etiquette. Never let your lips or tongue touch the fondue fork and no double dipping. Also if you drop and lose a dipper in the pot you either have to buy a round, if male, or if female you have to kiss the all men at the table. That’s why I am so selective about whom I eat fondue with, I have kissed enough frogs already.

A few years ago I was taken out to a fondue restaurant for my birthday and my best friend’s husband was hesitant about the choice; I think that he was afraid there wouldn’t be enough food he liked. Ha ha was he wrong, by the time we had finished with the meat course no one was sure how we were going to eat any of the dessert fondue. But have no fear some how we found the space for all that chocolaty goodness. Traditionally this is a communal meal, which means it is meant to be shared with family or friends; let me tell you those Swiss really knew how to bring people together. So the next time you get together with a group of friends put away the box of wine and break out that circa 1976 fondue pot and chat the night away.


Basic Cheese Fondue
2 Tlbsp. Butter
¾ cup Milk
¼ tsp. Garlic Salt
¼ tsp. Tabasco sauce
1 Tlbsp. Flour
3 ½ cups Shredded cheddar cheese
½ cup White wine
Cubed bread
Vegetables
Tortilla chips

Melt butter in a fondue pot then add the next 4 ingredients and cook until smooth and bubbly. Stir in cheese in small batches and cook until melted. Add wine to thin out the mixture, adjust this until your desired consistency. Serve with bread, vegetables and chips.


Basic Meat Fondue - Bourguignon
Peanut Oil
Beef, cut into small cubes
Chicken, cut into small cubes
Shrimp
Raviolis

Fill your fondue pot about half way with peanut oil and heat to between 325° and 350°. Submerge your meat or pasta on forks in the oil until cooked.


Horseradish Sauce
¾ cup Sour cream
1 Tlbsp Onion, minced
1 Tlbsp Horseradish

Mix all ingredients well and serve chilled with beef.

Dijonaisse Sauce
½ cup Mayonnaise
½ cup Dijon mustard

Mix all ingredients well and serve with chicken.

Aioli
1 ½ cups Mayonnaise
1 ½ tsp. Lemon juice
1 Tlbsp Garlic, minced
1 tsp. Tabasco

Mix all ingredients well and serve with chicken or shrimp.


Spicy Oriental Sauce
2 Tlbsp Soy sauce
1 ½ Tlbsp Lemon juice
1 Chili, chopped
1 clove Garlic, minced
2 tsp. Sesame oil

Mix all ingredients well and serve with any meat.


Basic Chocolate Fondue
2 Tlbsp Half and Half
1 Tlbsp Butter
2 Tlbsp Dark Rum
8 oz. Chocolate, semi sweet or bittersweet
Fruit
Marshmallows
Brownies
Cheesecake
Pretzels
Pound cake
Fortune cookies


Melt butter with half and half and 1 tablespoon rum. Remove from heat and stir in chocolate until melted, add the other tablespoon of rum. If the mixture is too thick add a dash of half and half to loosen it up. Serve with bite size cakes, fruit or cookies.

J-E-L-L-O

So I mentioned in my last post that I have two nephews, and I must say that I truly love the little buggers with all my heart. (Well except for the day that the little wild animals were running around the Old Navy making me the woman that you look at and think, "wow she really has no control over her kids!" And to top it all off the five year old interrupted my scolding, i.e. yelling, to tell me that he "didn't really like the way I was talking to him." Seriously who the heck did the kid think he was talking to?) Anyway, I do not get to spend enough time with my two "angels" and look forward to visiting them, and the fabulous mall near their house. Usually I try to bring a new recipe to make for them and last night I tried something that I think will be a home run, Jello Chicken.

Okay I know that you are sitting there going, "gross!!!", and I was also sceptical when I first read it, but with a little tweaking I made it into something that I, and hopefully my little "angels", enjoyed.

First of all you need to make a marinade out of one cup each of soy sauce and orange juice, enough to cover four pieces of chicken. I used leg quarters but you can use breasts if that's the way you roll. Marinate this for at least thirty minutes and then place the chicken, skin side down in a baking dish with about half of the marinade, season with a little salt and pepper. Next comes the weird part, sprinkle half a package of orange jello over the pieces liberally. Bake at 350 degrees for about a half hour then flip the chicken, season again with salt and pepper and then sprinkle more jello over the skin side. Bake this for about another half hour and serve.

The jello gave the chicken a kinda of gooey sweet coating that I really liked and think would go over very well with a five and two year old. It was however a fairly bright orange color which made me happy that I decided against the lime jello that was my first choice. Of course a kid might think that it is fun to eat green chicken so maybe I will try that for them. And come to think of it pineapple jello would also be really good in combination with a pineapple marinade.

I actually can't wait to see those guys again and try out this recipe on them. They are quite the picky eaters, but seriously who doesn't like jello?


Jello Chicken
4 pc. Chicken
1 cup Soy sauce
1 cup Orange juice
1 pkg Orange jello
Salt & pepper

Preheat oven to 350. Combine juice and soy sauce, marinate chicken at least 30 min. Place in baking dish, season with salt and pepper and sprinkle with half the package of jello. Bake for a half hour before flipping and repeating. Bake another half hour or until the chicken is thoroughly cooked.

Top O' the Morning

So everyone knows already that breakfast is the most important meal of the day because it provides you with fuel to start your day and jump-starts your metabolism, blah blah blah. I will be honest with you, most mornings I have coffee for breakfast; but I realize that I need to change that habit. I have, however, been known to go all out for breakfast if I am with my nephews or have guests.

Now my older nephew is always eager to help me in the kitchen, but not always that eager to eat what we have made together; he has a follow-through problem, like most males. The rest of us have thoroughly enjoyed the following recipes even if my little angel, and I use that term loosely, only picked at them. Honestly if I filled his plate with just sausage he would devour it and ask for more; but who can live on sausage alone?

So let’s start off with some low-maintenance meals that I have made for the high-maintenance kid. (Okay so maybe he takes after his auntie). First are wafflewiches, these are basically breakfast sandwiches between frozen waffles. You can do these any way you want: egg, bacon, cheese, sausage, ham, peanut butter or bananas, the choices are infinite. Second are PB&J French Toast Sticks. Basically all you need to do is dip a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a mixture of egg, milk and a dash of vanilla. Cook these in a buttered pan over medium heat until golden brown on both sides, and then cut into sticks. If you really want to start the day off on a sugar high dip the sticks into maple syrup. Finally there is my refrigerator clearing egg pie. For this dish just go through your refrigerator and sauté up whatever vegetables and meat you have available, let those cool slightly and than add them to a small container of egg substitute and cheese. Dump everything into a buttered pie plate and bake at 350 degrees until puffy and golden brown, about a half hour.

Now let’s move on to some recipes that take a little more effort and appeal to a little more mature palette. We will start with Orange French Toast, which you should prepare a bit before you plan on eating. Start by combining one cup of fresh orange juice, two tablespoons of orange zest, one tablespoon of frozen orange juice concentrate, five eggs and half a cup of plain low fat yogurt. The recommended bread for this dish is either a braided or brioche loaf, basically any dense loaf of bread that you can cut into one inch thick slices. Dip these slices into the egg mixture so that they are fully coated, then place them in a shallow baking dish with the remaining egg mixture poured over them and chill for at least two hours. Cook these in a buttered pan over medium-high heat until golden brown. To serve the French toast just dust them with powdered sugar and enjoy a breakfast that tastes like sunshine.

I used to work at one of the premier resorts in the Berkshires and they had a stuffed French toast that was out of this world; here is my version, Strawberry Banana Stuffed French Toast. Start by cutting a loaf of French bread into one and a half inch slices into which you need to cut nice deep pockets. Next combine two tablespoons of strawberry jam, four ounces of softened cream cheese, and a forth of a cup each of chopped fresh bananas and strawberries. (I omit the fresh berries for myself because I am allergic to them). Put a nice rounded spoonful of the filling into each pocket and gently close the halves. Dip each slice in a mixture of egg and milk and cook in a buttered medium-low heat until golden brown. You can serve this with a sauce made from pureeing one pint of fresh strawberries, two and a half tablespoons of sugar and one tablespoon of Grande Marnier liqueur.

I am a big fan of Breakfast Burritos, which are incredibly easy to make; just make an omelet with your favorite ingredients and pile it into the center of a soft tortilla, wrap and grill it to heat the wrap. Serve this with hot sauce, salsa, and sour cream. I also have started using egg substitutes because they contain less fat and cholesterol than real eggs, that’s not to say that I don’t eat real eggs, I just try to keep it to a minimum.

Finally here’s a dish that is a little off the beaten path, Breakfast Rice. Start by making one bag of Boil-in-Bag rice and let it cool. Once cooled stir in eight ounces of vanilla or apple low-fat yogurt, one teaspoon cinnamon, and a forth of a cup each of dried fruit and chopped nuts. I prefer dried cherries and almonds, because I am not a huge fan of the humiliated grapes, AKA raisins.

Personally I truly enjoy starting the day cooking with my nephews; being in the kitchen with them may be a challenge but it is worth it because they are always eager to help. Plus I am constantly hoping that one of them will eat what we cook because they had a hand in it, but as of yet I have been let down. Anyway, as I said breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and we all really need to get into the habit of fueling our bodies with healthy foods to start our day. You only get one body, treat it well and it will treat you well.


Orange French Toast
1 cup Fresh orange juice
2 Tlbsp Orange zest
1 Tlbsp Frozen orange juice concentrate
5 Eggs
½ cup Low fat plain yogurt
1 loaf Brioche or braided bread, 1 inch thick slices

Combine first five ingredients and dip the bread into it, place in a baking dish and pour the remaining egg mixture over the bread. Chill for at least two hours. Cook in a buttered pan over medium high heat until golden brown. Serve dusted with powdered sugar.


Strawberry-Banana Stuffed French Toast
1 loaf French bread, cut into 1 ½ inch slices
2 Tlbsp Strawberry jam
4 oz. Cream cheese, softened
¼ cup Fresh bananas & strawberries, chopped
3 Eggs
¼ cup milk
1 pint Fresh strawberries
2 ½ Tlbsp Sugar
1 Tlbsp Grand Marnier

Cut a pocket into each slice of bread making sure not to go through the other side. Combine the next three ingredients until well blended and spoon about a spoons worth into each pocket, gently close the halves. Combine the eggs and milk and dip the bread into the mixture before cooking in a buttered pan over medium high heat until golden brown. Puree the last three ingredients in a blender or food processor to make a sauce to serve over the finished French toast.


Breakfast Rice
1 bag Boil in bag rice
8 oz. Vanilla or apple low fat yogurt
1 tsp. Cinnamon
¼ cup Dried fruit
¼ cup Chopped nuts

Cook the rice according to the package directions, and pour into a bowl to cool slightly. Mix in the remaining ingredients and serve either warm or chilled.

Down With The Blue Box

So the other day I was straightening out the shelves at work and making a mental list of the items I needed to reorder when I came upon the boxed macaroni and cheese. It amazes me that anyone still eats that stuff; obviously they don’t read the ingredients. It’s not even cheese in those boxes, it’s processed, dried cheese food; plus the macaroni isn’t even curved, which I find to be kind of creepy. Anyway, uninformed people have been eating this stuff since 1937 when Kraft unleashed it on Depression stricken people.

Macaroni and cheese can trace its roots back to Italy where it is more commonly known as Pasta Alfredo; it was brought across the Atlantic by Thomas Jefferson in the late 1790’s. American cooks took this recipe and ran with it, but changed the cheese to the more abundant varieties locally and by 1859 the dish was appearing on tavern menus. (Incidentally the Nahant House in Lynn, Massachusetts was the first to feature it on their menu).

People tell me that they make the boxed macaroni and cheese because it is quick and easy; well I bet that I can make it from scratch in the same amount of time. Plus my homemade version is not full of preservatives and tastes like actual cheese, because it uses actual cheese. How novel an idea!

Ready, set, go! Put a pot of water on to boil, this will take about ten minutes; once it boils add some salt and one box of macaroni. Let this cook for about eight to ten more minutes till al dente. This gives me give or take twenty minutes to make a cheese sauce from scratch; I don’t know about you but I think I can do it. Start the sauce by melting a quarter cup of butter to which you add a quarter cup of flour (a roux), cook this for a minute so that it doesn’t taste like wallpaper paste. Then stir in a forth of a teaspoon each of Worcestershire sauce and dry ground mustard, salt and pepper. Once this is smooth and bubbly add two cups of milk and bring it to a boil, when this mixture thickens add two cups of shredded sharp cheddar cheese and stir the mixture until everything is melted together. All you have to do now is add the drained pasta to the cheese and mix well; voila homemade macaroni and cheese in about twenty minutes.

So now that I have shown you that no one really needs to torture themselves by eating the boxed version let’s turn up the volume. First I’m going to let you in on a little secret; I can’t eat plain macaroni and cheese, I need meat in my meals. I love meat and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Hence I always add some sort of protein to this dish when I make it.

Consider the recipe that I just gave you the basic recipe and everything that follows will just be changes on those basics. There was this woman I used to know who refused to change how she made macaroni and cheese because it was her mother’s recipe; how boring, who wants to go through life eating the same thing all the time. (PS she also refused to get rid of her mom jeans, which is almost criminal). Every recipe out there can be adjusted to suit your tastes, just because mom made it a certain way doesn’t mean it always has to be made that way. Anyway, two years ago I tweaked a recipe that ended up being out of this world, Baked Macaroni, Sausage and Gouda. The first thing you have to do is caramelize two and a half pounds of onions in a mixture of butter and olive oil. Once they begin to soften add salt, pepper, a teaspoon of dried thyme and two teaspoons of sugar and cook until the onions are golden brown, about twenty minutes. (Obviously this version will take longer than the basic recipe). Now omit the mustard and Worcestershire sauce and substitute Gouda for cheddar, all the other steps are the same. Once the cheese sauce is done mix in the pasta, onions and one and a half pounds of cooked sweet Italian turkey sausage. Pour it into a buttered baking dish and bake at 350 degrees about twenty minutes or until golden and bubbly.

There are a million combinations you can come up with for this dish all you need is a little creativity. The grocery stores all have great international cheese sections where you can find a ton of different brands and flavors to play with. Try mixing a horseradish cheddar cheese sauce with freshly made bacon bits, or a Swiss cheese sauce with ham and chicken. You can even make your own version of Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger Macaroni by combining cheddar cheese and cooked ground beef. Just please don’t let me know that you are using Velveeta instead of real cheese because that it just as bad as making the box version.

I recently saw on television how to turn a sandwich classic into a pot of macaroni and cheese; so let’s try a Reuben and Cuban version. For the Reuben add two cups of Swiss cheese to your thickened milk mixture to which you need to add about a tablespoon of spicy brown mustard, one small bag of rinsed and drained sauerkraut and about three quarters of a pound of diced deli corned beef. Stir this all together with a pound of cooked pasta. For the Cuban version add two cups of shredded Swiss cheese to the milk mixture and stir in a tablespoon of yellow mustard. To this sauce add about a cup of diced dill pickles and three quarters of a pound of diced deli ham. Both of these versions have all the flavors of these classic deli sandwiches and are yummy.

Okay, so now that we have made this beautiful pan of cheesy heaven what do we do with the leftovers? Honestly this is not a meal that reheats or freezes well so cooks had to get creative and what they came up with was Macaroni and Cheese Croquettes.

These are very easy to make but they turn a less than figure-friendly meal into a downright sinful one. Start by taking your leftovers and form them into one inch balls, roll them in breadcrumbs, then an egg and water mixture, than back into the breadcrumbs. Brown the balls in oil (canola or vegetable) that is heated to 360 degrees. These are usually served as appetizers.

Hopefully I have convinced you that making a homemade macaroni and cheese is incredibly easy and versatile. I promise once you get the basic recipe down pat you will never go back to the blue box again. Sorry Kraft.


Basic Macaroni and Cheese

1 box Macaroni, cooked al dente
¼ cup Butter
¼ cup flour
¼ tsp. Worcestershire sauce
¼ tsp. Dried mustard
Salt & Pepper
2 cups Milk
2 cups Shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Boil the macaroni in salted water about 8-10 minutes until al dente, drain and set aside. Melt the butter in a pot and stir in the flour, cook a minute or so before adding the next three ingredients. Cook this a few minutes until bubbly and smooth. Whisk in the milk and bring to a boil before adding the cheese. Cook until melted and then add the macaroni, stir well.


Baked Macaroni, Turkey Sausage and Smoked Gouda

2 ½ lbs. Onions, sliced thin
1 tsp. Salt
1 tsp. Pepper
1 tsp. Dried thyme
2 tsp. Sugar
1 box Short cut pasta, al dente
1 ½ lbs. Italian turkey sausage, cooked & crumbled
Basic cheese sauce

Sauté onions in a mixture of olive oil and butter until just soft, add the next four ingredients and cook about 20 more minutes, until browned. Cook the pasta according to the box direction to be al dente, drain and set aside. Make the basic cheese sauce omitting the Worcestershire and mustard and exchanging the cheddar for smoked gouda cheese. Mix the pasta and cooked sausage into the cheese sauce, mix well and pour into a buttered baking dish. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes.


Reuben Macaroni and Cheese

1 box Short cut pasta, al dente
1 Tlbsp Spicy brown mustard
1 bag Sauerkraut, rinsed & drained
¾ lb. Deli corned beef, diced
Basic cheese sauce

Cook pasta according to box directions until al dente, drain and set aside. Make the basic cheese sauce exchanging the cheddar for Swiss cheese. Mix in the remaining ingredients and add the pasta.


Cuban Macaroni and Cheese

1 box Short cut pasta, al dente
1 Tlbsp. Yellow mustard
1 cup Dill pickles, diced
¾ Lb. Deli ham, diced
Basic cheese sauce

Cook pasta according to box directions until al dente, drain and set aside. Make the basic cheese exchanging the cheddar for Swiss cheese. Mix in the remaining ingredients and add the pasta.

Getting Porked

They say that pork is the “other white meat”, but I often don’t make it because I don’t really know what to do with it. There are a million recipes out there for the first white meat, chicken; but the simple pork chop usually is left out. And seriously how many times can you Shake and Bake a chop? So I started the great search for new and interesting pork chop recipes, and have come up with three winners.

The think that makes pork so versatile is that it has a mild flavor that pairs with almost anything like fruit, nuts and even chocolate. I also prefer to pan sear or bake my chops, as I am not a huge fan of the grill. Why this is I don’t know because if I grilled I would have to wash less dishes. I don’t even own a real grill, when I do get my caveman on I do it on a ghetto rigged camp grill. Before we get into the recipes I want to let you in on a little secret. You do not have to cook the crap out of your pork anymore, trichinosis is not a problem these days and it really sucks to eat a chop that has the consistency of shoe leather.

Recently I was perusing my favorite cookbook, Bitchin Kitchen looking for something to make and there was a recipe for Balsamic Chocolate Filet Mignon that I thought would translate well for pork chops, and boy was I right. When you buy your chops look for some that are about a half-inch thick so that they will sauté well. I have to have mine specially cut because we cut them at least one inch to an inch and a half to sell at work and those monsters are just too thick to sauté. In this case bigger is not better. Anyway salt and pepper each side of the chop and sauté over medium high heat in olive oil. In a small saucepan combine six tablespoons each of Balsamic vinegar and maple syrup, bring to a boil and let it thicken before adding about a teaspoon of shaved dark chocolate. I will admit that I used imitation maple syrup instead of the real thing and even though it was tasty I need to bring home some of the real stuff for cooking. I love the fake stuff on my pancakes but it doesn’t translate well in recipes. So once the chops are cooked to a nice medium remove from the pan and drizzle with the sauce. I have recently become a fan of Balsamic vinegar and when combined with the chocolate it is divine.

Another recipe for pan-fried pork with a yummy sauce is Blueberry Chops. Once again sauté your chops in olive oil as in the first recipe, but this time we are going to top them with a tasty fresh blueberry sauce. Sauté a small-diced onion in butter until soft before adding one and a half cups of chicken broth and one cup of fresh blueberries. Bring this to a boil and let it cook until it reduces by half. Serve this over the pork chops. I recommend using wild blueberries for this recipe, and if you do not have any fresh ones then frozen will be fine, just let them defrost first.

Finally here is my favorite way to make pork chops, Pistachio Crusty Chops. Begin by shelling about a half cup of pistachios and dumping them into your food processor, add 2 cloves of garlic, the zest from one lemon and about a quarter cup of whole-wheat breadcrumbs. Process all of this until well combined then dump it all onto a plate. Take four one-inch thick pork chops and dip them into the nut mixture, do this liberally. Bake the chops at 350 degrees for about a half hour or until they are cooked until medium.

So there you have it, no need to constantly grill up a bland pork chop or be reduced to constantly Shake and Baking them. So go ahead and get your pork on and try out your favorite sauces or techniques from other recipes on this versatile meat.


Chocolate-Balsamic Chops

4 1-inch thick pork chops
6 Tlbsp. Balsamic vinegar
6 Tlbsp. Real maple syrup
1 tsp. Dark chocolate, shaved
Salt & pepper

Season both side of the chops with salt and pepper and sauté over med. high heat. Cook to your desired doneness. Combine the vinegar and maple syrup, bring to boil and let thicken before melting in chocolate. Drizzle the sauce over the chops.



Blueberry Chops

4 1-inch thick pork chops
1 small onion, diced
1-½ cups chicken broth
1-cup blueberries
Salt & pepper

Season both sides of the chops with salt and pepper and sauté over medium high heat. Sauté the onion in butter until softened and add the broth and berries. Bring this to a boil and then cook until reduced by half. Drizzle sauce over the chops.


Pistachio Crusty Chops

4 1-inch thick pork chops
½ cup pistachio nuts
2 cloves garlic
1 lemon, zest only
¼ cup whole-wheat breadcrumbs

In a food processor combine the nuts, garlic, zest and breadcrumbs. Coat the chops liberally with the mixture and bake at 350° for about 30 minutes.

Late Summer Night's Party

My favorite season is summer, specifically late summer. You know the time of year when the days are still hot, but the evenings cool off perfectly for bonfires and al fresco dinner parties. These are two more things on my list of favorite things; fires are so mesmerizing and entertaining outside makes me feel like someone in a French or Italian movie. I would seriously love to scrap everything and move to either Provence or Tuscany so that I could be surrounded by all that beauty and culture. Ahh, but for now I have to make due with transforming my home into a pseudo Provencal late summer night’s wonderland.

To accomplish this European feel begin by arranging patio furniture around your yard with the focal point being a white tablecloth draped table covered in candles and flowers. I would also string up my Christmas lights for extra ambiance, oh and don’t forget about a small bonfire. (Keep it small because you do not want the fire department showing up). Finally concerning music, it should be at a background volume, out of sight and play something soft and relaxing like classical. Now that the mood is set let’s talk food.

Now the last thing I want to be doing during my party is hanging in the kitchen putting together a multi-course meal. So I have gathered a few recipes that can easily be prepared ahead and enjoyed at room temperature.

The day before your party put together some fancy olives for your guests to nibble. My grocery store has a nice selection of bulk olives in the international cheese section of the deli. Buy at least a pound of olives for four people; you will need to double this recipe if you are entertaining more than four people. Rinse the olives well and put them into a bowl with one clove of minced garlic, half a cup of olive oil, one tablespoon of red wine vinegar, the zest and juice of one lemon and half a teaspoon of each red pepper flakes and oregano. Stir this up well and let the olives marinate overnight. Make sure that you warn your guests of the pits because there is nothing festive about chipped teeth.

Ok so on the day of your party get your apron on because you will need to get down to business if you want to enjoy your guests. Start by making your main dish, Pesto Chicken Bowties. To make this dish start by cooking a pound of bowtie pasta according to the package directions, rinse it and set aside. Next sauté one medium diced red pepper, one small-diced shallot, two minced cloves of garlic and a cup of chopped baby zucchini until everything is tender. Reduce the heat and add two cups of pre-cooked diced chicken, one can of drained artichoke hearts, half a cup of chopped sun-dried tomatoes, a container of store-bought reduced fat pesto sauce, salt and red pepper flakes. Remove all of this from the heat and toss it well with the pasta before adding a cup of Parmesan cheese. The beauty thing about this dish is that it is just as good served room temperature as hot off the stove.

The next dish needs an hour to marinate so plan accordingly for Spicy Shrimp with Avocado Dipping Sauce. Begin by making a marinade from half a cup of lime juice, two teaspoons of olive oil, half a cup of finely diced red onion, a quarter cup of chopped cilantro, two cloves of finely minced garlic, one seeded minced jalapeno, a forth of a teaspoon of oregano, salt and pepper. To this mixture ass about a pound and a half of pre-cooked shelled shrimp and let it marinate for an hour. While the shrimp is marinating make up the dip in a food processor out of one chopped avocado, a third of a cup of low fat sour cream, two tablespoons reduced fat mayonnaise, one teaspoon of lime juice and salt. Blend this until it is smooth and serve it with the chilled marinated shrimp.

Finally to finish out your al fresco meal are some Chicken Sausage Skewers. You can find a wide variety of chicken sausages at the grocery store; I personally love the sweet apple ones, but you can use whichever flavor you want in this recipe. Begin by sautéing one inch pieces of the sausage until browned on each side and then let them cool enough to handle. Once cooled you can begin assembling by spearing a fresh basil leaf, a small piece of roasted red pepper, a quarter of a marinated artichoke heart and finally a piece of the sausage onto wooden skewers. Voila you are done.

Now on the subject of bread and desserts you all know that I am not a baker but if that is your thing then knock your socks off and make everything from scratch. Me I am a fan of the Ciabatta rolls from the grocery store and I would most likely pick up an assortment of fancy pastries at my favorite Italian bakery or suggest one of the guests bring a dessert.

So now all you have to do is get dressed, set out the food, uncork the wine and enjoy your guests. I don’t understand why people throw parties just to spend the entire time in the kitchen or running around like a chicken with their heads cut off; didn’t you invite these people to enjoy their company? So have a game plan for your party that will enable you to kick back and enjoy the late summer night’s festivities.



Nibbling Olives

1 lb. Mixed Olives
1 clove Garlic, minced
½ Cup Olive Oil
1 Tblsp Red Wine Vinegar
1 Lemon, zested & juiced
½ Tsp Red Pepper Flakes
½ Tsp. Oregano

Rinse and drain the olives then combine them with the remaining ingredients to marinate in overnight.



Pesto Chicken Bowties

1 Lb. Bowtie Pasta
1 Med. Red Pepper, diced
1 Small Shallot, diced
2 Cloves Garlic, minced
1 Cup Baby zucchini, chopped
2 Cups Cooked chicken, diced
1 Can Artichoke hearts, drained & quartered
½ Cup Sun dried tomatoes, chopped
1 Container Reduced fat pesto sauce
1 Tsp. Red pepper flakes
Salt
1 Cup Parmesan cheese, grated

Make pasta according to the package directions and drain. Sauté the red pepper, shallot, garlic and zucchini until soft. Stir in the remaining ingredients and toss with the pasta.



Spicy Shrimp with Avocado Dipping Sauce

½ Cup Lime Juice
2 Tsp. Olive Oil
½ Cup Red Onion, minced
¼ Cup Cilantro, chopped
2 Cloves Garlic, minced
1 Small Jalapeno, seeded and minced
¼ Tsp. Oregano
Salt & Pepper
1 ½ Lbs. Shrimp, cooked, shelled & deveined
1 Medium Avocado, chopped
1/3 Cup Low fat sour cream
2 Tblsp. Reduced fat mayonnaise
1 Tsp. Lime juice

Make a marinade out of the first eight ingredients and marinate the shrimp in it for an hour. Blend the last four ingredients in a food processor and serve with the drained shrimp.


Chicken Sausage Skewers

1 Pkg. Chicken sausage
1 Jar Roasted red peppers
1 Jar Marinated artichoke hearts
Basil leaves
Wooden skewers

Cut the chicken sausage into 1 inch circles and sauté until browned. Once cooled, spear the sausage onto a wooden skewer with one piece each of the remaining ingredients.

Fry Baby Fry...Or Not

Okay so I will admit it; I love fried chicken. I have since I was a little girl and my family worked for a local restaurant chain that made, in my opinion, the best chicken in the world. Combine some nicely spiced chicken with a small bowl of those slightly runny mashed potatoes that come out of a machine and I am happy! Even now whenever the girls in our little takeout stand open the chicken fryer the wafting scent of freshly fried chicken makes me euphoric. But seriously I can not eat the stuff too often or I would be as big as a house; so I have to find lighter ways to make my favorite food.

Now there is nothing wrong with Shake and Bake, but when you want to impress someone that is not what you should be putting on the table. So I have been searching for a super yummy baked recipe that maintains optimum juiciness and has just the right amount of zing. Something that many chefs are doing these days is brineing the chicken in lemon juice before breading and cooking, which got me thinking... and here it is, Spicy Lemon Chicken.

Begin by combining a can of thawed lemonade with a quarter cup of buttermilk, salt and pepper. Marinate the bone-in, skin-on chicken pieces in this mixture for at least four hours or up until overnight. For the fried coating combine about two cups of Panko breadcrumbs, one tablespoon of dried thyme, a quarter teaspoon of cayenne and the zest of about half a lemon in a freezer bag. Remove the chicken from the marinade and roll each piece in about a quarter cup of reduced fat mayonnaise before placing them in a bag and shaking until each piece is covered in the breadcrumbs. Place in a baking dish and bake at 400 degrees for thirty-five to forty minutes or until the skin is golden brown and crispy.

I do not have one of those mashed potato machines so I have to make due with instant mashed potatoes and for a finishing touch on the chicken, drizzle it with a little honey. Oh it was so good, crunchy, spicy, tangy and just a little sweet.


Spicy Lemon Chicken

2 pieces Leg/Thigh chicken cut in half
1 can Frozen lemonade mix, thawed
1/4 cup Buttermilk
Salt & Pepper
2 cups Panko breadcrumbs
1 Tlbsp Dried thyme
1/4 tsp Cayenne pepper
1 Tlbsp Lemon zest
1/4 cup Reduced fat mayonnaise

Marinate the chicken pieces in the lemonade, buttermilk, salt and pepper for at least 4 hours. Combine the breadcrumbs, thyme, cayenne and zest in a freezer bag. Roll the pieces in the mayonnaise and then coat in the breadcrumbs. Place in a baking dish and bake at 400 degrees for 35-40 minutes.

6th Circle of Hell

I know that since it is July I should expect hot days; but for God's sake it is HOT here. Understandably I do not live in the hottest place in the area, hence I am in the 6th Circle of Hell while those that live in the asphalt jungles are in the 7th Circle. Yesterday it was so bad that I filled up my bathtub with cold water and sat in it reading a magazine to cool off. And I am at the point where I would sell my mother for a swimming pool! The last thing I want to do on a hot steamy day is cook, but I need to eat so I scoured my cookbooks for some barely cooked meals. And I was inspired to make a French-Style Bistro Salad/Sandwich.

Begin by making a salad with whichever vegetables you like; personally I like Romaine, carrots, radishes, celery and onions. Next in your trusty food processor combine about a half cup of cherry tomatoes, two tablespoons each of red wine vinegar and olive oil, one tablespoon each of Dijon mustard and honey, one small clove of garlic and salt and pepper to taste. Blend this until it is a light orange color and keep in the fridge until ready to use. The dressing will keep for a few days in a tightly closed container in the fridge.

The sandwich part is made from a half inch thick slice of multi grain peasant bread toasted lightly, spread with more Dijon mustard and then topped with two slices of honey baked ham and Swiss cheese. Place the sandwich under the broiler and let it rip until the cheese is melted and golden brown. While this is toasting lightly poach an egg in some gently boiling water with two tablespoons of vinegar.

Place the finished sandwich on top of your salad that is dressed with the Honey Tomato Vinaigrette and top it all with the softly poached egg. I suggest enjoying this meal al fresco under an umbrella with a glass of iced lemon water.

This meal is light enough so that you will not feel overwhelmed on such a hot day, but satisfies enough to be considered dinner. Plus you should have plenty of room for a nice refreshing bowl of ice cream!


French-Style Bistro Salad/Sandwich

1/4 cup cherry tomatoes
2 Tlbsp red wine vinegar
2 Tlbsp olive oil
1 Tlbsp Dijon mustard
1 Tlbsp honey
1 Sm garlic clove
2 slices multi grain peasant bread
2 tsp Dijon mustard
4 slices honey baked ham
2 slices Swiss cheese
2 eggs

Combine the first 6 ingredients in a food processor until well blended. Lightly toast the bread, spread with Dijon mustard, top with ham and cheese. Place under broiler for 5-7 minutes. Poach the eggs for about 4 minutes in lightly boiling water with 2 tablespoons if vinegar.

Cooking The Brew

I have a challenge for you; name five households that do not have at least one beer in its refrigerator. I can, but that is because not too many of my friends or family members really drink. Myself, I do not like beer; frankly I do not understand why it’s so popular because I think it tastes nasty. But I have used it in recipes and have found that the flavor changes enough to be tolerable to my taste buds.

In order to write about this ingredient I needed to first do some research; and what I learned was interesting. Beer is actually one of the oldest beverages to be concocted, but historians have been unable to pinpoint it’s creation to one specific culture. It seems that everyone in the Mesopotamian Valley was brewing this stuff. Beer was the beverage of choice until the Romans came into power and deemed it fit only for barbarians; but by the Middle (dark) Ages is was back on top. From its beginning until the Industrial Revolution in the eighteenth century beer was brewed in the home, but those industrious Germans changed that by brewing commercially and in quantity. Nothing exciting happened to the brew until the Prohibition Era in America. At this time bootleggers took the traditional European recipes and watered them down to increase profits. This was good for business but bad for taste buds; the result was that Americans developed a taste for weaker beer, thus the rise of Budweiser, and the demise of actual beer. Well that is until the last twenty years or so when microbreweries began to bring back the classic recipes.

Possibly the most popular recipe I have found using the brew is Beer Can Chicken. First you need to mix together a dry rub for the chicken. Combine one tablespoon brown sugar, garlic powder and salt, three fourths a teaspoon each of pepper and paprika, half a teaspoon of dry mustard and a fourth of a teaspoon each of cayenne pepper and poultry seasoning. Now take your chicken and rub it down with a little olive oil and half of the rub, sprinkle the rest of the rub into the cavity of the bird. As for the featured ingredient, most of the versions call for a can of Budweiser but you can use any variety you have on hand. I personally pour the Bud down the drain and fill the can with Bass. (Most of the male population in my area would consider that alcohol abuse, but screw them; I think Bud is gross!) Anyway, open the can, punch an extra small hole in the top, place it in the center of a baking dish and lower the chicken over it until the can is just about completely inside the cavity. Cook this at 350 degrees for about an hour, once done remove the can with tongs. I found that the beer works perfectly with the sweet and spicy rub to flavor to the chicken, plus it makes the bird super moist.

Now we move on to a darker beer, a lager. This dish is Maple-Lager Chicken and is an adaptation of a dish served in a Washington restaurant. In a baking dish whisk together one twelve ounce bottle of lager, I use Harp, and one third cup of real maple syrup. (The imitation syrup doesn’t have enough maple punch to stand up to the beer). Then add one sliced large onion, four smashed cloves of garlic, two sprigs of fresh rosemary, salt and pepper. Place four salt and peppered pieces of chicken, legs or breasts, skin side up in the baking dish and bake at 350 degrees for about an hour. Once done make a roux from one tablespoon each of flour and butter and add the liquid from the baking dish to make a sauce. Serve this sauce over the chicken and a side of rice. The lager style beer lends a slightly nutty and faintly bitter balance to the maple syrup.

This last recipe calls for a full-on dark beer; it’s a hearty Beef and Guinness Stew. Start by browning five pounds of beef brisket cubes in a buttered skillet. Don’t freak out about the amount of meat, this will serve eight or leave you leftovers. Work in batches so that the meat gets a nice brown crust, if you crowd the pan everything will boil. Once you are done with the meat sauté four pounds of sliced onions and four large carrots in the same pan with butter. Once the onions are nice and caramelized put them and the meat into a Dutch oven. Once again in the same pan make a roux out of three tablespoons of butter and six tablespoons of flour, add one twelve ounce bottle of dark beer, such as Guinness, and three cups of beef broth. Bring this to a boil, whisking it until smooth and then pour it over the meat and onions. Cover the Dutch oven and cook the stew in a 325 degree oven for two hours, then remove the cover and cook another thirty minutes. Serve this testosterone fest of a stew over mashed potatoes.

There are other things you can do with beer such as using it as a substitute for steaming hotdogs and shellfish, adding it to deep-frying batter and into baked goods for added moisture. Be aware though, most of the alcohol will cook out; but trace amounts will remain so warn any guests who are sensitive to alcoholic beverages of your ingredients. The last thing you need as a hostess/host is to help someone off the wagon. So the next time you grab a beer from the fridge maybe you could use it in your dinner preparation as opposed to the beer pong table. And if you choose to imbibe please do so responsibly and don’t drink and drive.



Beer Can Chicken

1 Tlbsp Brown sugar
1 ½ tsp. Garlic powder
1 ½ tsp. Salt
¾ tsp. Black pepper
¾ tsp. Paprika
½ tsp. Dry mustard
¼ tsp. Cayenne pepper
¼ tsp. Poultry seasoning
1 3lb. Roasting chicken
1 12oz can Beer

Combine the first 8 ingredients into a rub. Rub the chicken down with olive oil and then about half of the rub, sprinkle the remaining rub into the cavity of the chicken. Open the can of beer and punch a small hole in the top and place it into the cavity standing upright. Bake at 350° for and hour.

Maple-Lager Chicken

1 12oz. Bottle Lager style beer
1/3 cup Real maple syrup
1 lg. Onion, sliced
3 cloves Garlic, smashed
2 sprigs Fresh rosemary
4 pieces Chicken, legs or breasts
1 Tlbsp Flour
1 Tlbsp Butter


In a baking dish whisk together the first 5 ingredients. Place the salt and peppered chicken into the sauce and bake at 350° for about an hour. Combine the flour and butter and whisk it into the sauce once chicken is removed to make a sauce.


Beef and Guinness Stew

5 lbs. Beef brisket cubed
4 lbs. Onion, sliced
4 lg. Carrots, sliced
3 Tlbsp Butter
6 Tlbsp Flour
12 oz. Bottle Guinness
3 Cups Beef broth

In batches brown the meat in a buttered pan. Once done caramelize the onions until soft, place both into a Dutch oven. In the previously used pan melt the butter and stir in the flour, let cook for a minute and then whisk in the beer and broth. Bring to a boil until smooth and thickened and pour into the Dutch oven. Cover and cook at 325° for 2 hours, then uncover and cook 30 more minutes. Serve over mashed potatoes.

Get Your Caveman On!

When the weather starts to warm up I notice a trend in what we are selling from our meat counter, hamburger, steaks and pork ribs start flying out of the store. These are the typical items that people throw on the grill for quick outdoor cooking. Grilling is not a new form of cooking, it has been around since the cavemen first started cooking their food; but how we grill and what we grill has changed quite a bit.

I am not a huge fan of hamburgers at home for some reason, the funny thing is that I save tons of recipes for burgers but rarely make them. Also I never put chicken on the grill because I find that the outside burns before the inside is cooked through. I do however like to grill at other people’s houses, as I currently only have a tiny camp sized gas grill. The nice thing about the grill is that with a little creativity you can grill your entire meal.

My absolute favorite grilled meal is a Marinated Flank Steak with Grilled Guacamole. Now I know that you are saying, “How the heck go you grill guacamole?” Well read on because it is very easy. Begin by marinating your flank steak in two tablespoons of olive oil, three tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce, two tablespoons of course ground Dijon mustard, two tablespoons of Montreal Steak Seasoning, a grated garlic clove, a quarter of onion also grated and about a tablespoon of hot sauce. Let this sit for about an hour to incorporate all of the flavors. Combine a pint of halved grape tomatoes with half a bunch of chopped cilantro, six diced pickled jalapeno rings, a tablespoon olive oil, one tablespoon red wine vinegar, salt and pepper. While the steak and tomatoes are marinating cut a large red onion into one-inch wide rings and halve two avocados; drizzle both of these with olive oil so that they do not stick to the grill. Okay now it is time to head outside to the grill that you have preheated to a medium-high heat to get in touch with your inner caveman. The steak and onions are going to take the longest to cook so start them first, when you flip these add the avocado. Once everything is grilled to your liking begin constructing your dinner. Once the steak has rested for a few minutes slice it against the grain and on a heavy angle into fairly thin slices. Cover the plated slices with the tomato salad, avocado and onions, squeeze some fresh lime juice over everything and enjoy. This meal does require a lot of prep work but seriously it is worth it!

We sell a lot of pork ribs and chops that people cover in barbeque sauce and throw on the grill; how boring! Pork is a very delicate meat to grill; most people tend to over do it so you end up with a burnt dry chop or a shoe leather tough rib. Personally I never grill ribs; I have learned that cheaper cuts of meat turn out better if slow cooked. So when I put pork chops on the grill I tend to cook them over low heat so that they come up to a doneness of medium without burning on the outside. I am also a fan of sauces on my meats so Bourbon Smothered Spiced Pork Chops is right up my alley.

Begin this dish by making the sauce that will eventually be poured over the chops. Combine half a cup of bourbon, quarter cup of brown sugar, three tablespoons of cider vinegar, quarter cup of soy sauce, one minced clove of garlic and about half a teaspoon of black pepper over high heat just until it boils then reduce the heat to low for about ten to fifteen minutes until it reduced to half. While this is cooking combine half a teaspoon chili powder, quarter teaspoon cinnamon, eighth teaspoon allspice and a pinch of salt, rub this on both sides of four pork chops. Grill the chops over medium heat until medium, about four minutes per side. Serve the spiced chops smothered in the bourbon sauce. The combination of spicy and sweet is a nice change to the boring barbeque smothered chops.

Most people think that only dense meaty fish, such as swordfish and salmon, can be grilled; but I am going to share a secret with you. You can also grill shellfish, shhh. I have seen someone grill lobster by tossing the live sea bug onto the grill, closing the lid and letting it rip for about twenty minutes; and it was just as tasty as boiling the lobster. Clams are another shellfish that translate nicely to the grill; all you need is one of those throwaway tin foil pans in order to do this. I really do like clams and Grilled Lemon-Garlic Clams is a slightly smoky light dish that works as a meal or appetizer.

In a sauce pan that you do not mind putting on the grill combine one stick of butter, one large minced shallot, two tablespoons of lemon juice, four cloves of minced garlic, and one teaspoon of lemon zest. Place the pan on the grill to melt the mixture. Place four pounds of cleaned little neck clams in a single layer in a disposable casserole pan; cover it tightly with tinfoil and cook over high heat for about ten minute or until they all open. Discard any of the unopened clams and pour the melted butter mixture over the cooked clams before serving.

I don’t think that I need to get into grilling potatoes and vegetables because those are no brainers; but I do have a dessert trick up my sleeve. Did you know that you could make a grilled Banana Split? Yes you can and it is really easy. First you need to make a slit down the inside curve of the banana without cutting into the flesh too much, pull apart the peal so that you can stuff that thing with a bunch of yummy toppings. First brush a little melted butter on the flesh, drizzle a little chocolate sauce, caramel, strawberry topping and your favorite nuts. Wrap this concoction in tinfoil and grill it over high heat for about 8 minutes. Once cooked top the banana with ice cream, whipped cream and a cherry. The warm banana, melted toppings and cold ice cream make for an upscale version of this ice cream shop favorite.

As I said, I do not grill that often, but when I do I like to kick it up a notch. Don’t get me wrong I really enjoy having burgers in the summer, but usually it is when I am a guest somewhere. When I actually break out my ghetto camp grill I want to make something that just screams “WOW!” The recipes that I have shared here have that wow factor in my opinion and can make a great impression on your dinner guests.



Marinated Flank Steak with Grilled Guacamole

1 Flank steak
3 Tlbsp. Olive oil
3 Tlbsp Worcestershire Sauce
2 Tlbsp Course ground Dijon mustard
2 Tlbsp Montreal steak seasoning
1 Clove Garlic, grated
¼ wedge Onion, grated
1 Tlbsp Hot sauce
1 pint Grape tomatoes, halved
½ cup Cilantro, chopped
6 Pickled jalapeno rings, diced
1 Tlbsp Red wine vinegar
1 lg. Red Onion, sliced into 1 inch rings
2 Avocados, halved
1 lg. Lime, cut into wedges

Combine 2 Tlbsp olive oil, Worcestershire, mustard, steak seasoning, hot sauce, grated garlic and onion well, marinate the steak in this for 1 hour, turning once. Combine the tomatoes, cilantro, jalapenos, 1 Tlbsp olive oil, vinegar, salt and pepper; let this marinate at least 15 minutes. Grill the steak, onions, and avocados over med-high heat to your liking. Top everything with the tomato salad and a squeeze of lime.


Bourbon Smothered Spiced Pork Chops

½ cup Bourbon
¼ cup Brown sugar, packed
3 Tlbsp Cider vinegar
¼ cup Soy sauce
1 clove Garlic, minced
½ tsp Black pepper
4 Pork chops
½ tsp Chili powder
¼ tsp Cinnamon
1/8 tsp Allspice
Pinch Salt

Combine the first six ingredients in a saucepan over high heat, bring up to a boil and reduce heat to low for 10-15 minutes. Combine the last 4 ingredients well and rub on to both sides of the pork chops. Grill the chops over medium heat until medium doneness and smother with the reduced sauce.


Grilled Lemon-Garlic Clams

1 stick Butter
1 lg. Shallot, minced
2 Tlbsp Lemon juice
4 cloves Garlic, minced
1 tsp Lemon zest
4 lbs Littleneck clams

Combine the first five ingredients in a grill-safe sauce pan and let melt together. Place the cleaned clams in a single layer in a disposable casserole dish, cover tightly with tinfoil and cook on the grill over high heat for 10 minutes or until opened. Pour the butter mixture over the clams before serving.

Grilled Banana Split

Banana
Melted butter
Chocolate sauce
Caramel sauce
Strawberry topping
Nuts
Ice cream
Whipped cream
Cherries

Cut a slit through the inside cure of the peel and pull apart to expose the banana flesh. Top with chocolate, caramel, strawberry and nuts. Wrap in foil and grill over high heat for 8 minutes. Top with ice cream, whipped cream and a cherry.

Spam-A-Rific

Okay, so I am going to go where only few brave cooks have gone before, to Spamland. Now stop your complaining and gagging because it is not that bad, you eat hotdogs right, well same thing. Spam is the perfect food to have in your pantry in case of an apocalypse; the stuff literally lasts for years. And honestly if you read the list of ingredients the only one that sounds unnatural is the Sodium Nitrate (actually a salt), a preservative. So really how bad could the stuff be? And don’t even try telling me that you don’t eat preservatives; remember the hotdogs?

Spam was introduced in July of 1937 and became very popular during World War Two, insanely popular in Hawaii during their wartime fresh meat shortage. Well the war might have ended but the Hawaiian’s love affair with Spam has flourished. They consume the most of this smeat in the United States, possibly the world, so much so that their McDonalds and Burger Kings offer it on their menus. Hawaiians love it so much they refer to it as “Hawaiian Steak”.

So, on that note let’s make some Spam Musubi or as I like to call it Redneck Sushi, which is possibly the Hawaiian state food. This thing is so popular there that they sell it in every ABC Store (their 7-11) in the state and the president has even been caught eating it. When I vacationed there with my friend KB the Musubi intrigued us, but we were too afraid to try a convenience store fast food. Luckily I found a recipe for it and decided to give a homemade version a try, see I told you that I would try sushi. Okay, so start with one cup of sushi rice combined with one and a third cups of water, bring it to a boil, and then simmer for fourteen minutes. Once the rice is cooked, remove the pot from the heat, drape a towel over it, recover and let it sit for twenty minutes. While you are waiting you can get the Spam out of the can and scrape the gelatinous ooze off of it. Okay back to the rice, pour it into a baking dish and stir in about a fourth of a cup of rice wine vinegar then cover it with plastic wrap. Cut your Spam into one by two inch squares that are about a quarter inch thick and fry them up in a pan. Form the rice, which should be sticky into patties that are about the same size as the Spam, keep a bowl of water handy to rewet your hands and stop the rice from sticking to them. Top the rice patties with the fried Spam and wrap a thin strip of nori seaweed around it. (Seal the end of the nori with a little water). Finish it all off with s drizzle of Teriyaki sauce. I am not a huge fan of the nori that you buy in the supermarket, way too strong for me, but I read that soy paper can also be used. Unfortunately my ghetto grocery store does not carry it so I have to buy it when I go to Boston, another plus in the city’s column.

You could also make the Spam into a traditional sushi roll with cucumber and avocado along with the smeat in the center. A few months ago I bought a sushi roller and that thing works like a dream. I was fully expecting my first experience rolling would be a nightmare, but it was very easy. I highly suggest purchasing one of these contraptions if you plan on making your own rolls, you will love it.

Since Spam is so popular in Hawaii I am going to do a few more Polynesian inspired recipes, like Hawaiian Spam Calzones. In order to do this recipe you either need to make or buy a ball of pizza dough. Divide the dough into four smaller balls then roll those out on a floured surface into circles about a quarter inch thick. Cover half of each circle with diced Spam, crushed pineapple and a mild shredded cheese, like Monterey Jack or Provolone. Then fold the other half of the dough over to form a half circle, crimp the edges, cut a few vents in the top and brush it with an egg wash. Bake them for ten minutes at 450 degrees or until they are golden brown. Serve the Calzones with either duck or sweet and sour sauce for dipping. I liked the combination of the sweet pineapple mixed with the slightly spiced flavor of the Spam. You could also do this a traditional Hawaiian pizza if you want, just spread the duck sauce onto the uncooked crust before you add the toppings.

Here is a recipe that you can bring to a casual potluck dinner, just double or triple it if needed, Hawaiian Spam Casserole. Chop up one can of Spam into small cubes and brown them in a frying pan. Combine the smeat with one twenty ounce can of undrained pineapple, one cup of sugar, six tablespoons of self-rising flour and one and a half cups of shredded cheddar cheese in a baking dish. Top this all with either breadcrumbs or crushed Ritz crackers drizzled with around a half a stick of melted butter. Bake this at 350 degrees for twenty minutes or so.

This last recipe is for Chinese Spam Lettuce Wraps. Start by dicing your Spam as small as you are capable of doing, fry it in a tiny bit of canola oil with one small diced red pepper, a quarter cup of diced water chestnuts, two tablespoons of diced scallions and a pinch of red pepper flakes. In a separate bowl combine two tablespoons of stir-fry sauce with two tablespoons of lime juice and a teaspoon of sugar. Pour the sauce over the Spam mixture and cook until the liquid evaporates. Serve this spooned into whole Romaine leaves with bean sprouts and peanuts for garnish. Oh yeah, this dish can be made with ground chicken also.

Spam is actually a very versatile smeat; it is great fried up with eggs, on white bread with mustard or even as one of my customers suggested, fried in real maple syrup instead of oil. He said this creates a sweet crunchy crust on the Spam; unfortunately it also creates a sweet crunchy mess in the pan to scrub.

Spam has gotten a bad wrap over the years; some of its acronyms are “Something Posing As Meat” and “Spare Parts Animal Meat”. But really it’s not all that bad. I mean how can thousands of Hawaiians be wrong? Plus if you eat enough foods with preservatives you (or at least your loved ones) will benefit, because you will hardly have to be embalmed. That sounds like a money saver to me; eat up mom and dad!

Redneck Sushi (Spam Musubi)

1 cup Sushi Rice
1 1/3 cups Water
¼ cup Rice Wine Vinegar
1 can Spam
1 pkg Nori seaweed or soy wrappers
Teriyaki Sauce

Combine the rice and water, bring to a boil and then simmer for 14 minutes. Once this is done remove the pan from heat and let sit covered for 20 minutes. Pour rice into a baking dish and stir in the vinegar and cover with plastic wrap. Cut Spam into 1 by 2 inch strips and fry until golden brown. Form the sticky rice into patties about the same size as the meat, top with fried Spam and wrap a thin strip of your chosen wrapper around the middle. Drizzle with teriyaki sauce.


Hawaiian Spam Calzones

1 Ball store bought pizza dough
1 can Spam
1 8 oz can Crushed pineapple, drained
1 pkg Shredded Monterey Jack cheese
Duck or Sweet and Sour sauce

Divide the dough into 4 smaller balls and roll out until quarter inch thick circles. Pile Spam, pineapple and cheese over one half of the circle; fold the other half over and seal. Cut vents into the top of each calzone and brush with an egg wash. Bake at 450° for 10 minutes. Serve with either duck or sweet and sour sauce for dipping.


Hawaiian Spam Casserole

1 can Spam
1 20 oz can Crushed pineapple, undrained
1 cup Sugar
6 Tblsp Self rising flour
1 ½ cups Shredded Cheddar cheese
1 ½ cups Breadcrumbs or crushed Ritz crackers
½ Stick Butter, melted

Chop the Spam into cubes and fry until golden brown. Combine the first five ingredients in a buttered baking dish. Combine the breadcrumbs and butter and spread over the Spam mixture. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes.


Spam Lettuce Wraps

1 Can Spam, diced super fine
1 small Red Pepper, diced finely
¼ cup Water chestnuts, diced finely
1 Scallion, diced finely
pinch Red pepper flakes
2 Tblsp Stir fry sauce
2 Tblsp Lime juice
1 tsp sugar
Romaine leaves
Bean sprouts
Peanuts

Sauté the first five ingredients until soft. Combine the sauce, juice and sugar and pour over the meat mixture. Serve in the romaine leaves topped with bean sprouts and peanuts.

Guy "Food"

This is for all you guys who have finally moved out of your mama’s house and ventured into the real and grown up world. This is an exciting time for you; I mean you finally have a place in which to entertain a lady without your mom interrupting! Now guys remember, we ladies require a little wooing and one sure way to impress us is to cook for us. Actually almost any guy can benefit from these recipes; well I guess not Tyler Florence. (Oh I would love it if he cooked for me).

Now during my research into the diets of single guys I discovered that a good majority of you are enamored with frozen food. Now don’t get me wrong I also use frozen foods, of course they are in the form of vegetables, not wings; but it would be a cold day in Miami before I eat a frozen dinner or pizza. I did however have the opportunity to choke down the worst tacos in the history of tacos; and thanks to that dude I will never be able to eat them again. (Hey what can I say; I was bored when I said yes. God I’ll never make that mistake again, standards are there for a reason!). But have faith; there is no reason you have to suffer and be as terrible a cook as Mr. Taco; all you have to do is put a little effort and care into your food and voilá your lady is impressed.

So what I want to do for you is take some of your staple meals and make them date-friendly. My friend SS recently loaned me his copy of A Man, A Can, and A Plan, a cookbook for guys and a very informative research tool for me. Cooking is not hard and doesn’t need to be time consuming; if women can do it, men can do it at least half as well. Well maybe I’m being optimistic, but I like to give everyone at least one chance to prove me wrong.

Let’s start with a guy favorite, pizza. First you need to get your hands on one of those pre-made pizza crusts like Boboli. This can be topped any way you want, but I am going to do a Hawaiian version. Top the pizza crust with a little store bought pizza sauce, some diced deli ham, chopped up precooked bacon, half a can of crushed pineapple and a nice thick layer of shredded Mozzarella cheese. Bake this at 350 degrees for ten to fifteen minutes or until the cheese is melted and bubbly then top it with some diced green onion. Serve this to your lady friend with a side salad; and make sure she knows that the pizza is homemade and not delivery. Actually wait until she gets to your place before you start making it so that she can observe your mad cooking skills.

Now, in the grocery store they sell these great already cooked rotisserie chickens that you can use for two meals; you can eat half the chicken one night and then turn the rest into a date-worthy Chicken Ala King. Start by tearing up the meat that was left on the chicken into small bite-size pieces without the skin. (I am assuming that you chowed on all the skin the night before when no one was watching you shovel it in like a wild animal.) Begin this dish by baking some of those pop-can refrigerator biscuits according to the package’s directions. Next pour one regular sized can of condensed cream of whatever you grab off the shelf into a pot with a half-cup of milk and a couple shakes of garlic powder. Let this come to a boil and cook for about ten minutes before you stir in an eight-ounce tub of chive cream cheese, cook this until melted. Finally add the torn chicken, some frozen vegetables and about a teaspoon of dried thyme. Let this heat through and serve it over the biscuits. You can score extra brownie points if you serve an extra side of vegetables, and sorry dudes corn is not a viable option.

Finally here is a jazzed up version of another guy favorite, steak. This recipe may sound really weird, but trust me it is fantabulous, Coffee & Chipolte Steak. Start by combining two tablespoons each of regular coffee grounds, light brown sugar and molasses, one tablespoon of tomato sauce mixed with one teaspoon of adobo seasoning, a few dashes of Chipolte hot sauce, one teaspoon each of cumin, garlic salt, and paprika. You can find adobo seasoning in the Spanish section of the grocery store. Slather this mixture onto both sides of the thin cut steaks and then panfry them to your desired doneness. I do not suggest using the grill; it’s way too saucy. Now stop your whining I know that the grill is like an appendage for you but it just won’t work for this dish. I would suggest serving this with something simple like rice and a salad. Just so you know this will make a mess in your pan so you might have to soak it in cold water for a few days. (Not that you don’t already do this).

Ok so there you have it; I have given you three meals that you can be proud to serve any dinner guest, whether it is your girlfriend or momma. And most women find it a turn on when their man cooks for them, take that little tidbit and run with it guys because I won’t give you too many incites into our psyche. Just stay away from the nasty taco, because no one finds that sexy.

Okay so now I’m going to give you guys a few tips that you can use in your everyday cooking.

Sometimes you run across a recipe that you really want to try, but it serves four or more people and what’s a guy to do. Well you could loosen that belt, pull the TV tray closer and just power through it or you could just cut the recipe in half.

If you really insist on making the whole recipe then by all means do it because you can always freeze some of the dish. I have a whole cabinet full of Glad Ware that I can fill and put in the freezer. I do this a lot, see not only can you make the recipe as it was written, but also you also have dinner all ready to be mircowaved after a long day. Some things that freeze well are meatloaf, shepherd’s pie and spaghetti sauce.

Also at the grocery store there are individually wrapped fresh chicken breast. I usually have these in the freezer because they defrost quickly for a super fast meal. Honestly the individually wrapped breasts are a little more expensive but in my opinion worth it, so stop being so cheep! But if penny pinching is your thing then buy the regular pack of chicken and bag them up yourself. Just remember cheapmiser, you have to buy the freezer bags.

Okay, I think that I have given you enough tips; I can’t reveal all my secrets! So go forth, cook, be merry and please, please stay out of the freezer section of the grocery store.


“Homemade” Hawaiian Pizza

1 Boboli Pizza Crust
½ Cup Pizza Sauce
½ Cup Deli Ham, diced
½ Cup Bacon, cooked and diced
½ Can Crushed Pineapple, drained
1 8oz Pkg. Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
4 Stalks Scallions, diced

Spread the pizza sauce onto the precooked pizza crust in an even layer. Top with the ham, bacon, pineapple and cheese, in that order. Bake at 350° for 10-15 minutes. Top cooked pizza with the scallions.


Chicken A’la King

1 Can Refrigerator Biscuits
1 Can Condensed Cream of Whatever Soup
½ Cup Milk
½ Tsp. Garlic Powder
1 8oz. Tub Chive Cream Cheese
1 ½ Cups Cooked Chicken, Diced
1 Cup Frozen Mixed Vegetables
1 Tsp. Dried Thyme

Bake the biscuits according to the package directions. Mix the soup garlic powder and milk in a pot and bring to a boil over medium heat. Once boiling add the cream cheese and stir until it has melted completely. Stir in the chicken, vegetables and thyme. Serve over the biscuits.



Coffee & Chipolte Steak

2 Small Rib eye Steaks, thin cut
2 Tblsp. Coffee grounds
2 Tblsp. Light Brown Sugar
2 Tblsp. Molasses
1 Tblsp. Tomato Sauce
1 Tsp. Adobo Seasoning
1 Tsp. Chipolte Hot Sauce
1 Tsp. Cumin
1 Tsp. Garlic Salt
1 Tsp. Paprika

Combine all of the ingredients except for the steaks in a bowl. Slather the sauce onto both sides of the steaks and panfry over high heat until the desired doneness.

Restaurant Favorites

During these unstable economic times many people are tightening their belts and eliminating luxuries and extras from their lives; and one of the cut backs involves retail outlets and restaurants. Personally I dine out significantly less, especially at run of the mill restaurants. Seriously why should I pay ten to twenty dollars plus tax and tip for a meal I can make at home for less money and with better ingredients. Plus there are some restaurants out there that have kitchens staffed with “cooks” that have absolutely no culinary training. This is too bad for their patrons who are the ones to suffer from dishes prepared in unimaginative and inconsistent ways. I feel that to have a truly great kitchen you have to staff it with people who love experimenting with food. That is what makes their meals so fabulous; they truly care about the food they send out to each patron.

But really, why should you give up all of your favorite restaurant fare, I didn’t. What I have been doing instead is to make my restaurant favorites at home; and trust me you can do a better job than most of the kitchen staff out there. Anyone can follow a recipe but when you are cooking for yourself and loved ones you tend to put a bit more effort into the final product. Give these recipes a try, none of them are hard and you might surprise yourself.

I want to start off with something restaurants use mostly as a special, Prime Rib. First of all a prime rib is nothing more than a big ribeye (club) steak that is baked. And honestly it is cheaper for you to buy a prime rib instead of steaks for however many you need to serve. Now if you order this out at a restaurant nine times out of ten it is seasoned with salt and pepper and served with a simple Au Jus. You can do so much better than that! Begin by purchasing your meat and remember that choice is better than select (which a lot of restaurants use), and just so you know, a three to four pound prime rib will serve six to eight people; I did it and had leftovers. I know it doesn’t sound like much but I am assuming you are serving sides with the meat. Let the meat rest at room temperature because cold meat will seize up and turn out tough. Next pull out or borrow a food processor and puree five garlic cloves, a half-cup each of prepared horseradish, salt and olive oil 2 sprigs of fresh rosemary and a fourth of a cup of freshly ground black pepper. Take this paste and schemer it all over your meat, and then bake it at 350 degrees for and hour and a half to two hours. Once again let the meat sit for a few minutes so that the juices can redistribute. Both my friend TW and I made this for Christmas and our families thought that we were rockstars. Warning: if you are watching your sodium cut back on the salt because the crust is kind of salty, but seriously yummy.

If you don’t groove on horseradish substitute a half-cup of Dijon mustard for it. Or if that still isn’t your thing season the meat with Montreal Steak Seasoning and then cut small pockets in the uncooked meat and fill them with smashed garlic cloves. But the lesson I am trying to get by you is that Prime Rib should not be reserved for special occasions only, it really isn’t that expensive and super simple to make at home.

Another restaurant favorite is Shrimp Scampi, which is insanely easy to make. Start by melting two tablespoons of butter in a skillet, add two minced cloves of garlic and sauté for a minute. Next add about a fourth of a cup of either vermouth or white wine, and a tablespoon or so of lemon juice. Once this is warmed through add one and a half pounds of uncooked, peeled, deveined shrimp and cook just until the shrimp turns pink and begins to curl up. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in a fourth of a teaspoon of lemon zest. I serve this over pasta, traditionally linguini is used but I actually prefer short pastas like penne. If you want to up the wow factor on this dish and make it “Bistro-Style” just add a handful of halved grape tomatoes and a teaspoon of capes. This is a meal that I make on a regular basis because it is quick, easy and I always have the ingredients on hand.

A staple menu item at any decent Italian restaurant is Chicken Piccata; and if you can make the Shrimp Scampi then you can make this. I found a recipe that amps up the flavor of this dish by adding Parmesan cheese. Before I give you the recipe I want to mention that a few years ago I bought a wedge of real Parmesan cheese and after trying it decided to never go back to the junk in the cardboard shaker. It costs more but is so worth it, and you can use less cheese because the flavor is so intense. Start by dipping four boneless, skinless pounded out chicken breasts in first flour, then two scrambled egg whites, and then into freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Cook them in olive oil over medium heat until a deep golden color, about ten minutes. In the same pan you cooked the chicken in add two cloves of minced garlic and a quarter cup of capers. If you don’t have nonpareilles capers you should give them a rough chop because the larger ones can be a bit much if left whole. Cook this for about two minutes and add half a cup of white wine and bring to a simmer. Next stir in half a cup of chicken broth, two tablespoons of butter, half a box of drained frozen spinach and the juice of one lemon. Heat this through and then serve over the chicken breasts and your favorite cut of pasta.

Finally I want to share a steakhouse specialty, steak with herbed butter. The addition of an herbed butter, or even bleu cheese, gives the beef a velvety finish and extra flavor. To make the herbed butter take four tablespoons of unsalted softened butter, one and a half tablespoons chopped fresh chives or scallions, one tablespoon chopped fresh parsley, one tablespoon of lemon juice and salt and pepper. It doesn’t matter what kind of steak you cook, just spread the butter onto the cooked meat and let it melt. Also a traditional steakhouse dish is Creamed Spinach. I actually love spinach and this dish is something that I make as a treat. Make a roux from three tablespoons of butter and a quarter cup of flour, and cook this for a minute or two before you add two and a half cups of milk, two teaspoons of salt and a half-teaspoon of nutmeg. Bring this to a boil, whisking until it thickens and then remove from the heat. In a deep skillet cook two pounds of fresh chopped spinach with a pinch of salt until wilted. Mix the thickened sauce into the spinach and enjoy.

Basically I am trying to get you to believe in yourself as a cook, anyone can cook, all you need to do is read the recipe and put in some effort. Restaurant owners want you to think that you can’t do what they do in the kitchen, bull, it is not hard and as I said most of the time the people in restaurant kitchens are no more qualified than you to do their job. So pick your favorite restaurant dish, find a recipe and make it. I’m sure that you will surprise yourself and find that you can do it! And why don’t I put my money where my mouth is? Because I am really not interested in getting out of my current position and into the “service industry”, besides working in a commercial kitchen makes you smell terrible and sweat, and there is nothing worse than smelling like a sweaty French fry. No thank you I will stick to my own kitchen cooking for family and friends. The most important ingredient in any meal is love, which I try to put into every meal that comes out of my kitchen. (Hey at least I have never given anyone food poisoning, that’s something to be proud of).

If I have still not convinced you to try your hand at making your own restaurant favorites then let me give you a few ideas for your dining pleasures. During my concierge days with Cranwell Resort I had the opportunity to dine in a number of area restaurants and I still love trying new places with my friends, these are the top picks.

Casual Dining
The Westwood in Westfield. We patronize this restaurant quite often both for dinner and entertainment. The menu has a little something for everyone and is prepared consistently well. It is also a great place to drop in on for a drink and to listen to local musicians. This place has the biggest bar I have seen in the area, a great atmosphere and is patronized by a nice professional clientele.

Casual Outdoor Dining
Sloane’s Tavern at Cranwell in Lenox. Not only do you get a good low-key meal with a sophisticated twist, but also you can sit on the deck and watch both the pros and shankopotomus’s play the first three holes of the golf course. Incidentally this golf course is one of the best in the area and no they didn’t pay me to write that.

Food the Knocks Your Socks Off Dining
School Street Bistro in Westfield. This sophisticated bistro has a well-varied menu full of items that are all impeccably prepared. There really is nothing here that is not out of this world good. Listen carefully to their specials, because this is where you will find their best dishes. It is classic French cuisine with an American twist and oh so good!

Special Occasions
Onyx Fusion Grill in Springfield. This relative new comer to the area has made a huge splash. They have a fabulous menu of sushi and American cuisine fused with Asian influences. Also there is an outdoor dining area and bar to take advantage of. I suggest the Shrimp Scampi with squid ink pasta.

Extra Special Occasions
Blantyre in Lenox. This restaurant takes fine dining to a new level; your meal is spread out over a few hours and takes place in three different rooms. The food is of the highest quality and the service is impeccable. This was by far the best dining experience of my life.

Steakhouse
The Dakota in Pittsfield. This has been in my top five restaurants for years; I have never had a bad meal here. The meals are consistently great and I love the salad bar. They also do and out-of-the-world brunch on Sundays, but make sure to get a reservation because I think all of Berkshire County shows up.

Pizza
Arizona Pizza in Lenox. I know that this is a chain restaurant, but they do a really good job with their pizza and have a nicely varied menu. I prefer to have not your ordinary pizza toppings and this place fits the bill. My personal favorite is the BBQ Chicken pizza.

Fast Food
Katie’s Takeout in East Otis. Hey, what did you expect, they do pay me. Seriously Zagat’s did vote the fried chicken as the best in the Berkshires. And now that we have a real restaurant trained chef watch for our summer specials and new additions to the menu.



The Best Prime Rib

3-4 lb. Prime Rib
5 Garlic Cloves
½ Cup Prepared Horseradish or Dijon Mustard
½ Cup Kosher Salt
½ Cup Olive Oil
¼ Cup Black Pepper, freshly ground
2 Sprigs Fresh Rosemary leaves

In a food processor blend all the ingredients, then spread all over the meat that has come to room temperature. Bake at 350° for 1 ½ to 2 hours.


Shrimp Scampi

2 Tblsp Butter
2 Garlic Cloves, minced
¼ Cup Vermouth or White Wine
1 Tblsp Lemon juice
1 ½ Lbs. Shrimp, uncooked & shelled
¼ Tsp. Lemon zest

Sauté the garlic in butter until soft, add the vermouth and lemon juice and bring to a boil. Add shrimp and cook until pink and curled, stir in the lemon zest. Serve over pasta.


Parmesan Chicken Piccata

4 Boneless Chicken Breasts
1 Cup Flour, seasoned with salt & pepper
2 Egg whites, scrambled
1 Cup Parmesan Cheese, grated
2 Garlic Cloves, minced
¼ Cup Capers
½ Cup White Wine
½ Cup Chicken Broth
2 Tblsp Butter
½ Box Frozen Spinach, defrosted
1 Lemon, juiced

Dredge the chicken in flour, egg whites, and Parmesan cheese. Sauté until golden brown, 5 minutes each side, remove from pan. Sauté garlic and capers in the same pan, add wine and cook for 2 minutes. Add remaining ingredients and simmer until hot. Serve with pasta.


Herbed Butter for Steak

4 Tblsp Unsalted butter, softened
1 ½ Tblsp Chives or Scallions, chopped
1 Tblsp Parsley, chopped
1 Tblsp Lemon juice
Salt
Pepper

Mix all of the ingredients until well blended and serve on top of a cooked steak.


Creamed Spinach

3 Tblsp Butter
¼ Cup Flour
2 ½ Cups Milk
2 Tsp. Salt
½ Tsp. Nutmeg
2 Cups Fresh Spinach

Melt butter in a skillet, whisk in flour to make a roux. Add milk, salt and nutmeg, bring to a boil and let thicken. In a separate pan sauté spinach until wilted and then fold the thickened sauce in to it.

Get Your Girly On

I love being a girl, and by that I mean being a girly girl. My mother instilled in both my sister and I the importance of always looking presentable; and her favorite statement was “it hurts to be beautiful”. Well mom you were right about the looking good at all times, but not the pain part. (Come to think of it, she only said that when she was sadistically yanking my hair into a French-braid). Seriously what’s so painful about visiting your hairdresser every few weeks, getting regular pedicures or wearing pretty clothes and shoes? Merde the shoes, those alone are enough to make me thank God everyday for being a girl. I’m actually jealous of Carrie Bradshaw’s shoe closet in the Sex And The City movie, and irritated that I didn’t have my contractor build one for me! Actually I would have preferred more closets in general. Anyway, if I hear the phrase “I don’t need to dress up its just Otis” again, I might scream. To me it doesn’t matter where I am, at the very least I want to look good for myself. I mean, how could I ever feel good about myself if I looked like a messy schlub?

Now in my opinion shrimp is the ultimate girly food; it’s pink, delicate and can be dressed up a million ways. Plus it’s my favorite food, girly or not. I always have a bag of shrimp in my freezer because it makes the tastiest quick meals. And did I mention, it’s pink? Okay so before we start girls go and put on your cutest skirt, highest heels, crank up the Pussycat Dolls and let’s get down to some girly cooking! (Guys can join in also, but I’m not sure about the dress and heels).

Let’s start with a Shrimp Salad Niçoise, because what girl doesn’t love salad. It is the perfect girly meal because even though it has the reputation of being light and super healthy once you put those creamy yummy dressings on it becomes filling. Begin by making a vinaigrette in either a blender or food processor out of six garlic cloves, two thirds a cup of chicken broth, a quarter cup each of fresh basil and parsley, two tablespoons each of lemon juice, white wine vinegar and olive oil, two teaspoons Dijon mustard and salt and pepper to taste. Now combine your favorite lettuce, red bell pepper strips, tomato wedges, quartered artichoke hearts and slightly steamed but still crisp green beans in a bowl. Toss all this with some of your homemade vinaigrette and top with cooked shrimp, hard-boiled eggs, niçoise olives and capers. This is a twist on the classic salad niçoise with tuna and is surprisingly protein packed. You can also add some cooked tortellini to this salad for a carbohydrate boost.

Okay on to girly dish number two, Shrimp with Corn Relish. Start by combining one and a half tablespoons fresh lime juice, one-tablespoon fish sauce and a half-teaspoon of sugar and then set aside. If you have a wok now is the time to dust it off, or just use your skillet to stir-fry this dish. When you are stir-frying over high heat you should use light oil like vegetable or canola because it has a higher cooking temperature and lighter flavor that will not distract from the flavors of your vegetables. Okay, so over high heat, cook half a cup of minced shallots, two minced garlic cloves, one small seeded, ribbed minced jalapeno, one and a half pounds of shrimp and one and a half cups of corn. Once everything is cooked stir in the juice mixture and serve over either rice or fresh spinach. You can adjust the spiciness by increasing or decreasing the pepper. But here’s something to think about; spicy food helps with weight loss. I guess it has something to do with the capsicum which increases internal body temperature and boosts metabolism, but who cares as long as it speeds up losing those unwanted pounds.

A flavor that I have recently grown to love is Chipolte; it has a nice combination of smoky and spicy and has become a popular ingredient in recipes lately. As you will learn in later columns I am not a huge fan of Mexican food in general but I do however like their seafood dishes, like Chipolte Shrimp Tacos. Begin this dish by combining two teaspoons of chili powder, one teaspoon of sugar, half a teaspoon of salt, ½ teaspoon of cumin and ¼ teaspoon of chili powder. Add the shrimp and toss with the seasoning to coat. Cook the shrimp over high heat for about one and a half minutes on each side and then remove from heat. Serve these in warmed tortillas with shredded lettuce, avocados, and a few dashes of Chipolte hot sauce all topped with a dab of salsa Verde. If you are feeling brave you can dice up some Chipolte chilies in adobo sauce and spread a little bit on the tortilla, but go easy because they can be a bit spicy due to the fact that the seeds are left in the chilies.

I am a fan of couscous and use it not only as a side dish but also as an entrée like this Greek Shrimp couscous meal. Start by sautéing one small minced shallot, two minced cloves of garlic and one and a half pounds of medium sized shrimp in olive oil until the shrimp turns pink. Remove the shrimp mixture from the pan and replace it with half a cup of white wine, a quarter cup of chopped sun dried tomatoes and two tablespoons of capers. Sauté this for a few minutes and then add three cups of fresh baby spinach, cook this until wilted and then add one and a half cups of chicken broth. Bring it to a boil and add one and a half cups of uncooked couscous, cover this pan, remove it from the heat and let it sit for five minutes. Once all the liquid is absorbed, fluff it with a fork and stir in a dressing made from two tablespoons each of lemon juice, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and oregano. Now fold in the shrimp mixture and quarter cup of either goat or feta cheese, cook this until heated through, then stir in one cup of chopped cucumber and serve with more cheese sprinkled on top. This is a really yummy flavor packed dish that is fairly low in calories; it is also a dish that can be changed around if you do not like the seasonings or vegetables. Make it with chicken, chickpeas and Indian spices or use scallops, snow peas and lemon dill seasoning, play with this recipe and make it your own.

Finally here is a fancy girly meal that will keep your dinner guests coming back for more, Blushing Penne with Shrimp. Start by sautéing one minced garlic clove and a small minced shallot in two tablespoons of butter until golden. Already you know I mean business because I’m using butter and not olive oil. Next add about twenty halved cherry tomatoes and a pinch of each, red pepper flakes, salt and brown sugar. Sauté all of this for about six minutes or until the tomatoes soften and release their juices. Now add two cups of half and half and bring the mixture to a boil over medium heat before adding about a dozen jumbo shrimp, and a quarter cup of freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Simmer this for about five minutes to cook the shrimp through. Serve this blush colored sauce over penne pasta. This is by far the heartiest girly meal I make, but I just can’t resist its pink creamy goodness. And honestly, I could eat this meal at least once a week, and I don’t really like repeating myself to often. You can lighten the dish up by using fat free half and half, you will lose a bit of the richness but if you’re counting calories it’s worth it.

Oh and even though I live rurally, I am most certainly not a country girl. I do not wear overalls, think that country music is the devil’s sound system and no I don’t think your tractor is sexy, your BMW yes, your tractor emphatically no. I really don’t see being a girly girl as a bad thing; I mean what is so bad about caring about your appearance and using it to your full advantage? (It may not be very PC but appearances do count). Believe me any woman who tells you she hasn’t used her feminine charms to get what she wants is either lying or just not really a female. The way I see it is if guys are going to continue to fall for the same helpless girl act time after time why should we stop playing it. Girls you have a power that men cannot resist, use it to your full advantage! In my opinion there is nothing more powerful than a woman who knows she can command attention with just her beauty. Plus looking and feeling pretty makes me feel so much better about myself; and if I am happy then everyone is happy. Oh and please stop stating the obvious; I mean do people really think I don’t realize that I’m “such a girl”. Hello what am I supposed to be?


Chipolte Shrimp Tacos

2 tsp Chile Powder
1 tsp Sugar
½ tsp Salt
½ tsp Cumin
1 ½ lb Shrimp
1 tsp olive oil
Tortillas
Lettuce
Chipolte Hot Sauce
Avocado
Salsa Verde

Mix together the seasonings and toss with the shrimp. Cook the shrimp in olive oil over high heat until pink. Serve in the tortillas with lettuce, avocado, hot sauce and a spoonful of salsa verde.

Shrimp with Corn Relish

1 ½ Tblsp Lime Juice
1 Tblsp Fish Sauce
½ tsp Sugar
2 Tblsp Canola Oil
1 med Shallot, minced
2 cloves Garlic, minced
1 sm Jalapeno, minced
1 ½ lb Shrimp
1 ½ cups Corn

Mix the first three ingredients together and set aside. In a wok or fry pan stir-fry the shallot, garlic, jalapeno and shrimp over high heat in the canola oil until shrimp is pink. Add the corn and stir-fry one minute until corn is seared. Stir in the juice mixture. Serve over rice or spinach.



Shrimp Salad Niçoise

6 Garlic cloves
2/3 cup Chicken Broth
¼ cup Fresh basil, chopped
¼ cup Fresh parsley, chopped
2 Tblsp Lemon juice
2 Tblsp White wine vinegar
2 Tblsp Olive oil
2 tsp Dijon mustard
Salt and Pepper
Lettuce
Red Bell Pepper
Artichoke Hearts
Green Beans, flash steamed
Shrimp, cooked
Eggs, hard-boiled
Niçoise olives
Capers

In a food processor combine the first nine ingredients into vinaigrette. Make up a salad out of the remaining ingredients and top with the dressing.



Greek Shrimp Couscous

1 sm Shallot, minced
2 cloves Garlic, minced
1-½ lbs. Shrimp, uncooked
¼ cup Sun dried tomatoes, chopped
2 Tblsp Capers
½ cup White wine
3 cups Baby spinach
1 ½ cups Chicken broth
1 ½ cups Couscous
2 Tblsp Lemon Juice
2 Tblsp Balsamic vinegar
2 Tblsp Olive oil
½ tsp Oregano
1 cup Cucumber, diced
¼ cup Goat or Feta cheese


Sauté the shallot and garlic until soft, add shrimp and cook until pink. Remove from the pan and sauté the sun dried tomatoes and capers a minute before adding the wine. Add the spinach and cook until wilted then add the chicken broth and couscous. Cover and turn off the heat, let sit for 5 minutes then fluff with a fork. Make a dressing from the juice, vinegar, oil and oregano. Stir into the couscous mixture with the cheese and heat through. Finish off with the cucumber and more cheese if so desired.



Blushing Penne with Shrimp

1 clove Garlic, minced
1 sm Shallot, minced
2 Tblsp Butter
20 Cherry tomatoes, halved
Pinch Salt
Pinch Red Pepper Flakes
Pinch Brown Sugar
2 cups Half and Half
12 Jumbo shrimp
¼ cup Parmesan cheese
Penne

Sauté the garlic and shallot in butter until soft. Add cherry tomatoes, salt, red pepper flakes and brown sugar and cook until tomatoes release their juices and break down. Add half and half and bring to a boil, add cheese and shrimp. Cook this until shrimp is pink and serve over penne with more cheese.